I JUST PEED MY PANTS BECAUSE MY ALBUM COMES OUT NEXT WEEK

OK babes. Let’s be real. I’ve been real stinkin’ busy and haven’t had a heart to heart with you. So let’s catch the fuck up. Some bullet points of my last couple months:

I signed to CAPITOL RECORDS in October and I get to do pretty much whatever I want, which is amazing because I want to do a lot of cool things that save humanity.

The NEW YORK TIMES did a piece on me and it was front page of the Arts section and I may have carried it around with me for a month showing flight attendants, cab drivers, annoyed baristas, and other unsuspecting employees preoccupied with working.
ugh the nerve.

My new EP comes out NEXT WEEK, on TUESDAY 12/17. It’s got some old tracks that are re-vamped and ready for radio and world domination, and a new track that will gut your insides and you’ll need blankets and a kitten and frozen yogurt probably and I apologize in advance. The four track album is called “Welcome to the Age of My Body” which is great introduction to how cute of a butt I have. I have a cute butt.

You guys, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to offend you with how amazing my rack is.

You guys, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you with how amazing my rack is.

* “Welcome to the Age of My Body” is a line from a Brian Ellis poem that I fell in love with because a dear friend read me his book on a drive from Portland. It’s always stuck with me. It is brilliant and simple and beautiful and you should purchase his book as well as other talented writers I adore.

* I have great blood pressure. I used the air-puffer-tester when I was at CVS. This feels relevant somehow.

* I have been on the Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ arena tour since October singing ‘Same Love’ and crying often about the beauty of life. I have been on a tour bus with 11 incredibly talented angel-humans for almost two months and it has been a life-altering experience. To say that I’m honored is an understatement. I spent my childhood performing sad songs to thousands of invisible people that loved me. I was so lonely then. I don’t know how I got to this point or if it’s divinity or what, but I am doing my best to honor every moment and the incredible impact our song has had.

* ‘Same Love’ is nominated for Song of the Year at The Grammys. I don’t even. I can’t. I’m just. Heaven on earth. I just cry and cry and cry out of sheer disbelief, happiness, and gratitude. The nomination is not about Ben, Ry, or me as songwriters, but about the reflection of our society that makes a song like this soar. It says that we have come leaps and bounds regarding equality and that NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT A LESBIAN BASED “SHE” PRONOUN IN A SONG. That’s an incredibly beautiful thing to witness and be at the epicenter for. I’m ecstatic. Humbled. Completely shaken in the best way possible.

I LOVE THEM I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH

I LOVE THEM I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH

* Fun fact: Two years ago, I ran a Kickstarter for my first EP, “Letters Don’t Talk” before we recorded “Same Love”. I made an offer to anyone donating $1000 that they would be my +1 to the Grammys. See below.

“For $1000:
You will receive a letter, digital download, the EP, my chapbook, your name in liner notes, a shout out, a singing telegram, a song written for you, a show at your house, 10 songwriting lessons, and my PLUS ONE AT THE GRAMMY’S. i’m not joking. get on this now. it could be next year. or five years. but it’s happening.”

Estimated delivery: Sep 2012

 

magic

This is an example of magic. I google imaged it.

* It’s Christmastime and that means all wonderful things happen. Like magic. I hope you are having magic this December.

* I moved into a new apartment by myself. It has big windows and a real washer and dryer and a place for my bicycle and I am feeling many things. Loneliness, peace, discovery of self, joy, mourning of my relationship, and welcoming the struggle to find independence. I am definitely a different person than I was prior to ‘Same Love’ and those feelings definitely reflect that. I don’t think it’s necessarily a better or worse change, just different. I’m learning things about myself that I never knew existed. The change is simultaneously welcomed and terrifying.

* I am extremely late, but I discovered jeggings.

* The new radio edit of She Keeps Me Warm debuted on Seattle radio yesterday on KISS 106.1 and will be on many stations starting next week!! There’s a cool video of me freaking out online.

* I did a cool cover of ‘Teenage Dirtbag’ for Billboard.com and I’m proud of it, plus my shoes are peacock painted from Hourglass Footwear and they are the bomb.

* I HAVE A LOT OF SHOWS COMING. I will let you know, babes.

I hope you are all having the best December ever, and you love each other and are kind to your babies and the cashier and your neighbors and your spouses and most importantly, yourself. You can’t take care of others if you can’t take care of yourself.
Some things I’ve been doing to take care of myself that you can try if you want:

All hail, Robyn. Amen.

All hail, Robyn. Amen.


Dancing to Robyn’s Body Talk in my panties
Putting salsa in my salads instead of dressing- GENIUS
Making my bed
Ordering CRAZY AMAZING PLUS SIZE CLOTHING FROM CITY CHIC
Reading Andea Gibson‘s poetry
Having a crush and writing cute songs and poems and feeling tingly
Wearing flannel
Eating dried mango slices
Praying
Introducing myself to strangers and smiling at everyone
Talking to my beautiful family
Letting myself cry before bed if I need to
Stretching
Drinking champagne and celebrating nothing and everything
Loving and loving and loving and loving

This is if you were a kitten and I was a kitten. I think life would just be better (albeit less productive) if we were all kittens.

This is if you were a kitten and I was a kitten. I think life would just be better (albeit less productive) if we were all kittens.

That said, all of my love to you and one massive hug and kiss on the nose from me to you.
You are all wonderbeings with skin on.

xoxo
M

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38 Responses to I JUST PEED MY PANTS BECAUSE MY ALBUM COMES OUT NEXT WEEK

  1. Gustavo says:

    Mary Lamber you rock

  2. Gigi McGowen says:

    I just saw you on Showbiz Tonight..this is the first time I have written a reply on a blog. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder…you and your music…BEAUTIFUL!!! Do not sweat the haters, it is a waste of your time.

  3. kerrianne yurschak says:

    So proud to have you in the queer community, Mary! Keep all that awesome shit and positivity up, girl. you carved your name upon my lips, I kiss your stolen past and I am home.

  4. Heidi G from Minnesota says:

    Just saw you on showbiz tonight…I’ve loved the song and your voice and was so moved by it…and thrilled for you about the Grammy and the record deal…..I really wanted to comment on your body blog post. 9 years ago I had gastric bypass and lost 120 pounds. It both thrilled and saddened me at the response and reaction by others, even friends. The assumption that all large people are lazy and have no self control is just sad. The fact that people take me more seriously, stand closer to me (not just because they can HA!), flirt, are nicer, include me more, etc….just because of my weight loss, is as I said, upsetting and thrilling all at once. Considering writing a book about the experience.
    Anyways, thank you for leading the path, in love, in body image, in just being a good and kind person, and thank you for doing it in such an amazing and joyful and public way!
    Way to go :).

  5. cdaraghy says:

    What a year! Glad to have come to know you in this brief time! Best wishes!

  6. Robin Jones says:

    You’re just so wonderful.

  7. Pingback: In which our love affair with Mary Lambert continues | Hourglass Footwear

  8. denwarre says:

    Me: Another screaming crazy fan who cries when you sing
    You: A Voice and Soul that multi-generations waited for. A new Superpower to change the world.

    If Madonna made it ok for me to wear underwear in public since the ’80′s, I’m a little afraid what influence Mary will have over us all in her reign. Pass the crown, this isn’t S#^! music created in a factory, this is someone’s real craft, innovation, and passion being shared through music.

    I can’t wait to scream like a crazy fan at you again. Next time will no doubt be your Key Arena sell-out, I know the new EP will be magic.

  9. Chloe says:

    Congratulations on all the wonderful good rolling in and around your life! You’re a gorgeous woman with a beautiful soul and you’re inspiring others (myself included) to persue their passions and dreams just by being you. Keep on doing what you do!

  10. Romi says:

    Have you already heard Same Love as someone’s ringtone? As it happened yet?

  11. Cris Carney says:

    You should come to CSL in Seattle, I think you’d love it. If you go to some other place will you let us know?

  12. Rebecca Watkins says:

    Mary, you are the most beautiful, talented, wonderful human being! Keep being you. :)

  13. Mary, you are shining, and I’m only so lucky to get to witness it. <3

  14. tuesday nite u sang like an angel! ty for that & for bringing people to this lovely place!

  15. DeLynn says:

    You are so beautiful, confident, and inspiring! Thank you for being you and for being in this world.

  16. Strangely I realized the end of your relationship from instagram and it made me quite sad. I am a lover of love and hoped you had your forever love. I will hope that you find yourself and when it comes along that truest of loves. Stay amazing.

  17. Lena says:

    Can’t wait for your EP to come out, definitely buying it! And hoping one day you’ll make your way to Dublin, Ireland, so I can attend your concert. Keep on rocking! :)

  18. Lee says:

    You’re such a huge inspiration. Kind hearted, funny, loveable, and just everything else. I strive to be like you, and love the little things in life like dried mango slices and jeggings. God bless your soul and keep doing what you’re doing, you have no idea what type of impact you’re leaving with your words and music.

  19. Kristin says:

    You are an amazing human being, no, angel on earth!

  20. oops, sorry. Met you earlier. but I look forward to meeting you in due time!

  21. So I’ve been following you since a little before the kickstarter. I never got to meet you when you were working with Jeremy, Braden, and Soren on Letters Don’t talk, and I am not quite sure why. I never met you when my friend Hayden was playing bass in your band, and I am not sure why either. Maybe it wasn’t meant to, but I am a musician from Port Angeles and have been following you since the first 100 views on the Machine live music video, from the body love over in Jeremys wheat field. Since your kickstarter when you said that thing about the Grammy’s and being a plus one. And when I first saw that, damnit I believed in you. I didn’t have any money at all so I couldn’t support in more than being your like 250th like on your facebook page, and sharing your music with people I knew. Fast forward, I remember you coming to town to work with Soren on the record, and hoping I’d get to meet you, because we were starting our Own record (My Band is Witherow, me and Abby from Abby Mae and the Homeschool Boys[where Hayden played before the short stint with you]) When we went to a meeting with the boys at the river house, we were telling them we were going to do our record a little bit differently, and I heard that day about Macklemore and Same Love being recorded the night prior. You didn’t know me, but I was rooting for you then too. Fast forward a year and you are now signed to Capitol(along with Serena Ryder, and Katy Perry etc…) along with having toured the nation alongside Ben and Ryan. I heard a stadium 2 nights ago scream I love Mary loud and clear. I am so incredibly excited to see you go from 200 to 10,000 people screaming they love you. (I went to night one at the Key, not for mack, but for you). I listened to your music the night my childhood dog died and you helped me deal with the grief as silly as that might sound, but I am so excited that the rest of the world has the chance to hear you, and to cry with you. To support you, and to get through their griefs with you. Mary you’ve done the impossible with impossible amounts of support. I am just proud to have been along to see the journey this year.
    Mary you are so very special.
    All the Best,
    Dillan Witherow
    I wish I had

  22. Kai says:

    What a beautiful train of your consciousness to ride for a few minutes, like reading sunlight. I am so happy for you! I see the light that you are spreading. I see it in your eyes, in your smile, in the heart that you give at your live shows, in the poetry from your chapbook. You are just amazing, and you deserve this so much. I hope that someone was smart enough to take you up on that $1,000 kickstarter back then. What a joy to be with you on such a magical culmination of this journey. You created the moment in your mind and manifested it a year later. That’s pretty damn fantastic.

    I cant wait to see what beauty and truth and loveliness that you give us in the coming months and years. I saw you perform in a small college conference room in October, in Conway Arkansas. What an intimate and personal experience that was; who would have thought you would sell out Madison Square Garden soon after?! I gave you my chapbook that night. I trust you as a poet. I loved reading your poems. <3

    Love, Kai

  23. Charlene Hunt says:

    Love your reflections about moving into your new apartment. It’s like hearing my girlfriend talk about her transition this year.

    Also, I totally agree about being kittens!

    Love you, love your music, love your message!

    Charlene

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  24. chandramoore says:

    Love this, love you, keep rocking it!

  25. Chandra says:

    Love the update, love you, keep rocking it!

  26. Jade says:

    So excited for you!! Please come to Charlotte, NC we’d love to have you :)

  27. Love hearing from you Mary! I’m glad that things are going well for you. :)

  28. Dana says:

    Mary, you’re just so amazing. Your songs speak to me in a way nobody has ever done. Thank you for your wonderful music and your beautiful spirit.

  29. AprilJoy says:

    Congratulations! I can’t wait to buy it. The video of watching you hear yourself sing She Keeps Me Warm on the radio for the first time brought tears to my eyes. You sound awesome! You were also awesome last night (night #2 @ the Key) And the Grammy Nomination….you all so deserve it!

  30. Shannon says:

    You are Beautiful!

  31. Renita says:

    Dude, I think I am in love with you!

    On a more serious/more legit note thank you so much for your incredible view point on life, love and the persuit of deliciousness. I am so excited about your success and continued success!!

  32. Congratulations on everything! You are amazing and it is great to see history happening through music. Since no one took you up on the kickstarter offer, does that mean you need a date? If so I would be more than happy to help out. ;)

  33. Traci says:

    Ah Mary, they aren’t jeggings! They are ponte pants! Love you, love the music. Love the love.

  34. sofia kenny says:

    you should be so proud of yourself. Keep being real!! happy holidays and best of luck in the new year

  35. teamgloria says:

    adored EVERYTHING about this blog post.

    congratulations. seriously. congratulations.

    and thank you for name-checking angel-humans and discussing the beauteousness of kittens.

    you made our day.

    *wavingfromLosAngeles*

    quelle beautiful life. right?

    _teamgloria x

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