I have so many things to tell you!

Hey my pretty babes,

How are you?? Did you see something cool today like a cloud that was shaped like a rock that was shaped like a shark?! Me too. I have so many things to tell you! Aside from the fact my entire world is COMPLETELY CRUMBLING DOWN A WORMHOLE OF CHILDHOOD MEMORIES. I will elaborate: late last night I discovered the simple fact that the Berenstein Bears are not, in fact, Berenstein Bears but BERENSTAIN BEARS with an A, and I am being SO REAL WITH YOU RIGHT NOW that I have never legitimately questioned alternate timelines and parallel universes until now. ARE ANY OF YOU REAL?!@?@?@?Ok. Calming down because this is my own crisis. You are all real and adorable and I love you and you are reading this on my website that has photos of me and poems and I play music and we are all okay. I’m just going to eat some friut and ride my bicycle later.Great news, I’m in the UK again! I am feeling like it’s almost a second home by now. “Heart on my Sleeve” is being released there IN 2 DAYS omgomg! YAY MUSIC! I’ve never quite understood holding releases for different countries, because the internet, but nonetheless, IT HAS ARRIVED TO THE UK! I have a show in London that is unfortunately (but for me, very fortunately) sold out, but have no fear little kitten, I am also doing a small set at Brighton Pride! So come see me and be gay or trans or an ally or queer and PROUD and if you are none of those things, I will pray for you and bless your little homophobic heart with my two very gay hands.

Note: if you would like an autographed copy (UK babies), you can purchase one here.Here arethe deets for the shows!
Wednesday, July 29 at 7pm – Hoxton Bar & Kitchen – London, UK

Saturday, August 1 at 12pm – Brighton & Hove Pride – Preston Park – Brighton, UKAlso also the Ribcage music video is in editing now! EXCITING!!I am also hard at work writing a ton of things. Occasionally some of the things I am writing feel very relevant to the world, and I can’t help but share. Recently, a male editor from Oprah magazine responded to a question that was pretty alarming to me. A woman asked if she could pull off a crop top, and he responded by saying, “If (and only if) you have a  flat stomach.”

I know, right? THE WORST. If I had a magazine, it would just be poems about how beautiful everyone is, and then in the margins it would have pictures of baby animals mid-sneeze. The statement from the editor was so relevant to a piece I had just written for my next book (!!!!!!!), that I decided to share it on faceland. I have also decided to post it here, so that you can reference it when someone sucks really bad and says stupid bullshit like “glorifying obesity” when fat girls aren’t ashamed of their bodies. Ok, angel kittens, I leave you with this poem. xoxo


Everyone is a Babe

“These women need to stop glorifying unhealthy obesity”

1. The body acceptance and radical self love that I practice when wearing a crop top has nothing to do with glorifying obesity or thin-shaming. It’s about loving my body RIGHT NOW, as I am.

2. Also, the fuck is ‘glorifying obesity’?

3. Oh, you are my doctor?

4. NO, YOU’RE ACTUALLY A DOCTOR OF BEING AN ASSHOLE

5. I like my belly button.

6. This is a new revelation.

7. My belly button does not interrupt your life

8. Why do you hate so much my belly button?

9. When I was in high school, I fantasized about taking a knife

to my stomach so I could be normal-sized.

10. I have always been normal-sized.

11. Denise Jolly. Tess Holliday. Sonya Renee. Lindy West. Michelle Allison. Gabi Fresh. Kim Selling.

12. One night I found a website that just had photos of girls with stomach rolls and back rolls and they were smiling and so happy and I cried because I was uncomfortable and envious of their joy.

13. Swimsuits are scary for everyone.

14. I have performed a poem about how to love your body almost every night for 6 years. Sometimes I have to fake it.

15. I have never seen a legitimate sex scene in a feature film with a woman over a size 16 that was not used as a comedic tool. Ever.

16. I used to drink a fifth of tequila and smoke a pack of cigarettes every night.

17. Interestingly, no one criticized my health then.

18. Everyone is terrified of their naked body.

19. Including men.

20. We are all complex. Everyone is breaking and healing and hating all at the same time. You are not exempt. I am not exempt.

21. Photoshop is the devil incarnate.

22. You cannot love what you hope your body to be, without loving it for what it is.

23. My body is what it is what it is.

24. The mirror is what it is what it is.

25. I have found myself at the mercy of my own reflection, wondering if my size diminishes my femininity.

Answer: It does not. I am adorable as fuck.

26. Do you know how miserable it feels to maintain a body that has been deemed unworthy by society? In the same breath, do you know what a joy it is to take care of something that you love?

27. Therefore, celebrating your body is a revolutionary act.

28. I feel my own self breathe. I feel my organs when I breathe and when I shower, I feel my skin on my skin. I know that it is mine. I listen to what my body asks for.

I put on a shirt that shows my stomach. I wing my eyeliner up and I ride my bike into the sunset and I will pick wildflowers with my love and later I will eat brussels sprouts and maybe a martini with lots of olives in it and I will do all this because it makes me feel good and because I am worthy of love and cute clothes and happiness.

29. Feeling worthy has taken so long.

30. I am my own holy revolution, welcome to the church of my thunder thighs, I am awake and alive, I’ve come to wear all of the crop tops that the glittering world has to offer, I’ve come to dance the shame out of my childhood, I’ve come to win back my joy. You may not snatch it from me like a purse.

I win whether I have a mouth full of pretzels or a mouth full of kale; you have not been granted the privilege to know how I consume my world and what makes me most delight in my skin.

I will glorify the shit out of my body.