I’M GOING ON TOUR. HOT DOGS FOR EVERYONE.

I’M PACKING ALL MY SHOES AND GLITTER AND GOING ON TOUR BABES. HOT DOGS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!

hotdogs

 

 

 

 

It’s my first headlining tour with a band and a crew and I feel so fancy! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!

See all the dates below and get more information here.

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And my prince and princess unicorns, don’t fret if your city isn’t on the list above. More cities and shows to come later this year. Pinky promise.

xoxo,

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Meet My Sexy Ass Band

The BAND! My band is the absolute best. My whole team is the absolute best.
But I don’t think you know for real real how incredible my band is. They are ridiculously talented, kind, and a complete riot to hang out with. It should be noted that they are also total babes, and should totally do a Macy’s Christmas commercial or something.

EEEEEEE

EEEEEEE

CUTIE PATOOTIES

CUTIE PATOOTIES

I’ll be touring for the bulk of this year. SO MANY SHOWS MY GOD SO MANY SHOWS.
And you’ll see these virtuoso musicians/friends/soulmates with me along the way. Buy them beer. And buy me a hot dog. And a whiskey. And a puppy.

 

This is Heather.

SHE SINGS AND PLAYS BECAUSE SHE IS A GODDESS

AHHHH HEATHER STAHP YOU’RE THE COOLEST

When I grow up, I want to be Heather Thomas. She is a fucking beast of a drummer. She’s the newest of the team, but it feels like she’s been with the crew forever. We’ve been playing shows together for about 6 months, and she is one of the funnest people to hang out with, play music with, and talk serious shit with. On tour, we call her Lone Wolf Thomas. You can too. I’ve learned so much from Heather in such a short amount of time. She is one of those people that puts things in such a wise perspective that you’re like “UGH Heather, why do you have to make me think about compassion and empathy for other people, I just wanted to run them over with my car for laughing and walking slow,” but then you’re also super grateful because she for real for real shifted your consciousness with one sentence. I can’t wait to spend more time playing music with her and learning more lessons about humanity. Heather is also a skateboarder, lead singer of her own band, hackey sack enthusiast, and former tap dancer (SHE DID A SET ONCE WHERE SHE PLAYED THE KIT AND THEN TAP DANCED BECAUSE SHE CAN DO ANYTHING BECAUSE SHE IS A GODDESS AMEN). Heather is an institution, and I can’t wait for her to take over the world.

This is Maiah.

Oh did I mention Maiah is also a professional model as well?

TALENT AND BRIANS AND HILARITY AND SHE IS ALSO A MODEL DID I SAY ‘BRIANS’ THAT IS ABSOLUTELY INCORRECT

Maiah Manser and I met in college at Cornish College of the Arts. I was instantly blown away by her songwriting and her unbelievable vocals. She is one of the kindest, most talented human beings that has ever come into my life, and she is a rare treasure to anyone that knows her. Maiah never ceases to amaze me with her insane vocals and emotional connection to her writing and voice. Maiah inspires me to be a better musician and human being. One of my favorite videos of all time is her owning the shit out of her loop system. On top of being a master of her craft, Maiah can multi-task like no other. I asked her to sing back-up. Then I asked her to play synth. Then I asked her to play bass. Then I asked her to do them all at the same time. And she nails it every fucking time. On tour, Maiah’s nickname is (sorry Maiah) Wormhole. This is due to her third eye actual psychic abilities. You may not call her that. She is one of my favorite people to tell secrets to and I feel like we’ve been friends for millions of years in so many lives. Maiah just released her first single, “Hold Your Head Up” which completely slays. She has a show (with TIM) on Sept 6th in Seattle and if you live in Seattle and don’t go, you better be having a colonoscopy or getting married or something terribly important/awful.

This is Tim.

TIM I'M GOING TO PINCH YOUR CHEEKS ALL THE TIME

TIM I’M GOING TO PINCH YOUR CHEEKS ALL THE TIME

Tim is my very best friend. We met working at a restaurant in Seattle where I farted on him and we crushed on cute girls together and got drunk and cried way too often.
Tim plays every instrument you can think of. And not just half-assed. He is one of the most brilliant guitarists/bassists I’ve ever met; a true master of his craft. I sent Tim the new album (which I wrote without the band in Los Angeles) two weeks ago, and said, “Hey can you learn all of these songs in two days/program all the sounds/help design playing to track/teach me how to play them/play three instruments at once? IS THAT COOL TIM?” And Tim said, “fuck yes I will, Mary, because I’m a damn boss.” AND HE DID. Like the rest of the band, Tim’s solo writing is phenomenal. The sounds he makes with his guitar literally move me to tears.
Tim’s nickname varies. The rest of the band calls Tim, “TimTitty” I have a hard time getting those words out of my mouth, so often I just call him “Asshole” because every day is opposite day. You may not call him either of those names, though he would insist you can call him whatever you like and then give you a hug and ask you what your birthday is. He is the brooding lead singer of his band, Dark Hip Falls, a band that has been the movie music for my 5-margarita-kind-of-nights. The Summer I turned 19, Tim came to my apartment and stayed with me through the night when I wanted to kill myself. Now we get to play music together all the time. And I still fart on him.

 

Can’t wait for you guys to meet the rest of the crew! See you on the road!

 

xoxo
M

 

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THE WEEK OF OMG

Hey my pretty little angel muffins. Last week was a cray zay week. Let me recap:

B.o.B dropped a serious rhyme on “Secrets” AND IT’S SO GREAT HAVE YOU PLAYED IT FOR YOUR MOM OR YOUR WEIRD COUSIN YET? They will probably both like it. Incidentally, I am usually the weird cousin.

I was actually really hesitant to have a rap feature on this song, but B.o.B put such an incredible verse down, and it complimented the song in a way that I never expected. THANK YOU B.o.B YOU ARE SO BOSS.

Listen to it here:

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Stream on Spotify or YouTube

Also also also!

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I released the lyric video for “When You Sleep” !! It is one of my favorite videos I’ve ever made. Huge props to Samantha Soo for bringing the song to life.  ISNT SHE AMAZING?! I met Sam on MySpace when I was 15. Embarrassing.

Another fun thing this week: I made a neat playlist! I also made myself toast! And I cut an apple up! All by myself!

Unrelated to anything: I’ve been watching HGTV nonstop. Related to something: Instead of installing a kitchen backsplash or tearing down walls for an open concept living space for you, I made you a Spotify playlist of all the songs that influenced the making of Heart on My Sleeve. I’ll be adding new tracks every week, so you can subscribe if you want to, boo boos. You may even hear some more nuggets from the album. And no not chicken nuggets, ear candy nuggets. That kind of sounds like a terrifying jelly bean flavor. Gross.

Another ‘nother thing: THE FIRST ROUND OF SECRET POSTCARDS HAVE GONE OUT AND THEY ARE SO AMAZING YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. When you get yours in the mail, I want to see it. Take a pic with the secret you receive, share on your favorite social meeds (Twitter, Instagram, Vine or Facebook), and tag it with #MarySecrets. Your pretty face will appear on my super secret wall of secrets that’s actually not super secret. Secrets secrets secrets.

OH AND THIS HAPPENED.

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HI HARRY STYLES YOU HAVE PRETTY HAIR AND I’M GLAD WE SHARE SIMILAR FEARS MAYBE WE SHOULD GO ON FEAR FACTOR TOGETHER

xoxo,
M

P.S. You can still pre-order my album, “Heart on My Sleeve” here!

P.S.S. SHAZAM! Tag “Secrets” everyday on the app and you’ll get a new secret video from me. You can watch the first secret on YouTube here.

PSSSSSSS I think you’re all cute.

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WARNING: Don’t eat granola while pre-ordering my album. It can be dangerous.

Hello pretty babies.

(I’m going to do my best to remain collected because I feel like I yell at you in excitement on the regular but…)

YAAAAASSSS, YOU GUYS. YOU CAN PRE-ORDER MY ALBUM AND I ALMOST CHOKED ON GRANOLA.  You can get “Secrets” AND “When You Sleep” instantly when you pre-order! Holy smokes.mary_14_A

When I think about you being able to hear these tracks I’m instantly like:  OH I FEEL LIKE UNICORNS
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Thank you so much for all the love, feels, and support. You guys are seriously the best.

xoxo,
M

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The “Secrets” music video is HERE!!!!! AND my face is in it this time.

Ok, remember way back when I promised that the lyric video was only a placeholder for the really amazingly glorious music video we shot for “Secrets”?! Well, in all its Viking-helmet-wearing, confetti-blasting, and tiny-kid dancing glory, the video for “Secrets” is HERE!!

I’M SO EXCITED!!!! WATCH BELOW!!!!

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I know, it’s amazing (kudos to the actress who plays my therapist…).

But now I want to get serious(ish) dudes and dudettes. For those of you who just tuned in, I have a neat postcard secret exchange happening! It’s kind of like a therapeutic Post Secret chain letter. Have you shared a secret with my #MarySecrets campaign? Click here to anonymously share something with me AND someone else. You never know who you could inspire or affect by just one little truth. My wish is that the freeing effect occurs not only with the receiver, but also the writer.

I still have a few super cool limited-edition copies of Heart on My Sleeve that I’m signing just for you. Have you pre-ordered yours yet? Speaking of pre-order…. HEART ON MY SLEEVE OFFICIALLY GOES UP FOR PRESALE ON ITUNES TUESDAY!!!!! That means we’re getting closer to the album release. OMG I can’t wait for you guys to hear it. Seriously.

That is all.

xoxo,
M

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The wait is over babes.

“SECRETS” IS AVAILABLE ON ITUNES,  AMAZON, and GOOGLE PLAY!!! Eeeeeeeee!!!

You can get it now and scream with me in excitement because I’m perpetually four years old at Christmas (that was the year I got “Little Mermaid.” A very pivotal year for me) and I like sharing things with you, cuties.

Single Cover Mailerxoxo,
M

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I want to hear your SECRETS!

Now that I’ve divulged all my secrets to you in an adorable polka dot video with manicured nails, I want to hear YOURS!!!! Part of this song, though it’s super fun, surrounds the belief that sharing vulnerable parts of ourselves with other people can be really freeing. When we share our secrets with each other (secrets often meaning aspects of ourselves that are shrouded in guilt and shame), we’ll be one step closer to a more beautiful and fulfilled society.

That said, I LOVE TELLING SECRETS. I LOVE LETTERS. I love postcards. I love stamps. I love cat stickers.

I bet some of you do too, which is why I thought:

Wouldn’t it be neat if we all sent each other postcards of our secrets??

Click here to get in on the secret-postcard-fun!  Share your secrets and get an anonymous secret snail-mailed from someone else. I want us all to know that we can share who we are and what we are with everyone and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it.

Check out the postcards that you can choose from:

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xoxo,
M

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OMG YOU GUYS. I CAN’T. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START.

There are so many amazing things happening I can barely contain myself. I’m like a kid with ten rolls of bubble tape and very little self-control (what’s good 90’s reference)!

My new single “Secrets” has officially hit the radio!

To the lucky angel baby pies who have heard it already, it means the world to me that you are saying such nice stuff about it. I’m so proud of this song, and I’m SO excited you like it! If you haven’t heard it on your radio station yet, CALL, TWEET OR SEND A CARRIER PIGEON TO REQUEST. We’re getting an easy bake oven for the bus. I will attempt to send each of you cupcakes.

The official music video for “Secrets” where I rock a viking helmet and party hard with confetti is on it’s way, but to tide you over, here’s a super cute lyric video that’s got polka dots and fun animations and a magic notebook.

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CLICK HERE TO WATCH!

(Also, don’t worry pretty babes, the song will be available on iTunes soon)

ALSO ALSO! My FIRST full-length record, Heart on My Sleeve, is going to come out in the next couple months (ISN’T THAT AN ACCURATE TITLE FOR ME AS A HUMAN BEING?!? The alternate title was: Crying Ball of Feelings and Magic, but the pitch didn’t go well).

The greatest news ever is that I’m signing a buttload of limited edition CDs and vinyls and you can pre-order it now!!!! (VINYL! I’M SO HIP!). You can pre-order one for you and your grouchy next-door neighbor who needs a good dose of feels by clicking HERE YAY

I feel all your love all the time, and I give you so many bear hugs back, babes. Let’s save the world with feelings and positive magic rays of goodness.

xoxo,
M

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New Mary Lambert Merch!! Bandannas, posters, and tees!

Yay yay yay yay! I am so excited to show off some new merch! I will ship it to you ANYWHERE IN ALL THE LAND. Here is a link to the merch store!

You can now purchase the bandanna with Body Love in my handwriting.

Girl, go ahead and ugly cry all over this shit

Girl, go ahead and ugly cry all over this shit

Or maybe you want a neat something to hang on your wall! You can pick up a ‘She Keeps Me Warm’ lyric poster!

Fancy!

Fancy!

Maybe Body Love is something that touched you! Well I want to touch you! That sounded better in my head! I meant I want you to feel soft in a comfy T-shirt. There are Body Love posters too!

And remember, the merch site is the only place you can order my collection of poetry, ‘500 tips for fat girls’. It’s kind of like ‘500 days of summer’ except it’s not. Not even close. I lied.

I WOULD NAME THESE KITTENS COLUMBUS AND LINCOLN.

I WOULD NAME THESE KITTENS COLUMBUS AND LINCOLN.

Also, HAPPY FOURTH!!
EEEEE PATRIOTIC CATS!!!

 

 

xoxox

M

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Secrets! No that’s actually the name of the song!

Hey beautiful babes,
My new single, SECRETS, is now being played on the radio!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! I’ve been pinching myself the last couple days. Totally surreal.

Secrets is a song about being unapologetically yourself! And it’s catchy! And I’m so so proud to have made something that has a message AND is fun. After thinking I could only write music to cry to, this is an amazing step in my journey to be the best songwriter I can be.

The song will be available for download on iTunes on August 5th. I know that is far away, but it’s okay! It’ll be so worth it! And maybe we can make it to the Top 40!!!

I really hope you like it. I made it for everyone to enjoy and hopefully relate. We’re all trying to figure it out, right? So let’s dance like idiots and snort when we laugh and tell people our secrets, because life is so much more fun when you realize no one actually knows what they’re doing.

Can’t wait for you to see the super fun video that goes along with it!

 

Evidence.

Evidence.

xoxo
M

 

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