The “Secrets” music video is HERE!!!!! AND my face is in it this time.

Ok, remember way back when I promised that the lyric video was only a placeholder for the really amazingly glorious music video we shot for “Secrets”?! Well, in all its Viking-helmet-wearing, confetti-blasting, and tiny-kid dancing glory, the video for “Secrets” is HERE!!

I’M SO EXCITED!!!! WATCH BELOW!!!!

mary video

I know, it’s amazing (kudos to the actress who plays my therapist…).

But now I want to get serious(ish) dudes and dudettes. For those of you who just tuned in, I have a neat postcard secret exchange happening! It’s kind of like a therapeutic Post Secret chain letter. Have you shared a secret with my #MarySecrets campaign? Click here to anonymously share something with me AND someone else. You never know who you could inspire or affect by just one little truth. My wish is that the freeing effect occurs not only with the receiver, but also the writer.

I still have a few super cool limited-edition copies of Heart on My Sleeve that I’m signing just for you. Have you pre-ordered yours yet? Speaking of pre-order…. HEART ON MY SLEEVE OFFICIALLY GOES UP FOR PRESALE ON ITUNES TUESDAY!!!!! That means we’re getting closer to the album release. OMG I can’t wait for you guys to hear it. Seriously.

That is all.

xoxo,
M

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The wait is over babes.

“SECRETS” IS AVAILABLE ON ITUNES,  AMAZON, and GOOGLE PLAY!!! Eeeeeeeee!!!

You can get it now and scream with me in excitement because I’m perpetually four years old at Christmas (that was the year I got “Little Mermaid.” A very pivotal year for me) and I like sharing things with you, cuties.

Single Cover Mailerxoxo,
M

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I want to hear your SECRETS!

Now that I’ve divulged all my secrets to you in an adorable polka dot video with manicured nails, I want to hear YOURS!!!! Part of this song, though it’s super fun, surrounds the belief that sharing vulnerable parts of ourselves with other people can be really freeing. When we share our secrets with each other (secrets often meaning aspects of ourselves that are shrouded in guilt and shame), we’ll be one step closer to a more beautiful and fulfilled society.

That said, I LOVE TELLING SECRETS. I LOVE LETTERS. I love postcards. I love stamps. I love cat stickers.

I bet some of you do too, which is why I thought:

Wouldn’t it be neat if we all sent each other postcards of our secrets??

Click here to get in on the secret-postcard-fun!  Share your secrets and get an anonymous secret snail-mailed from someone else. I want us all to know that we can share who we are and what we are with everyone and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it.

Check out the postcards that you can choose from:

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xoxo,
M

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OMG YOU GUYS. I CAN’T. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START.

There are so many amazing things happening I can barely contain myself. I’m like a kid with ten rolls of bubble tape and very little self-control (what’s good 90’s reference)!

My new single “Secrets” has officially hit the radio!

To the lucky angel baby pies who have heard it already, it means the world to me that you are saying such nice stuff about it. I’m so proud of this song, and I’m SO excited you like it! If you haven’t heard it on your radio station yet, CALL, TWEET OR SEND A CARRIER PIGEON TO REQUEST. We’re getting an easy bake oven for the bus. I will attempt to send each of you cupcakes.

The official music video for “Secrets” where I rock a viking helmet and party hard with confetti is on it’s way, but to tide you over, here’s a super cute lyric video that’s got polka dots and fun animations and a magic notebook.

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CLICK HERE TO WATCH!

(Also, don’t worry pretty babes, the song will be available on iTunes soon)

ALSO ALSO! My FIRST full-length record, Heart on My Sleeve, is going to come out in the next couple months (ISN’T THAT AN ACCURATE TITLE FOR ME AS A HUMAN BEING?!? The alternate title was: Crying Ball of Feelings and Magic, but the pitch didn’t go well).

The greatest news ever is that I’m signing a buttload of limited edition CDs and vinyls and you can pre-order it now!!!! (VINYL! I’M SO HIP!). You can pre-order one for you and your grouchy next-door neighbor who needs a good dose of feels by clicking HERE YAY

I feel all your love all the time, and I give you so many bear hugs back, babes. Let’s save the world with feelings and positive magic rays of goodness.

xoxo,
M

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New Mary Lambert Merch!! Bandannas, posters, and tees!

Yay yay yay yay! I am so excited to show off some new merch! I will ship it to you ANYWHERE IN ALL THE LAND. Here is a link to the merch store!

You can now purchase the bandanna with Body Love in my handwriting.

Girl, go ahead and ugly cry all over this shit

Girl, go ahead and ugly cry all over this shit

Or maybe you want a neat something to hang on your wall! You can pick up a ‘She Keeps Me Warm’ lyric poster!

Fancy!

Fancy!

Maybe Body Love is something that touched you! Well I want to touch you! That sounded better in my head! I meant I want you to feel soft in a comfy T-shirt. There are Body Love posters too!

And remember, the merch site is the only place you can order my collection of poetry, ‘500 tips for fat girls’. It’s kind of like ‘500 days of summer’ except it’s not. Not even close. I lied.

I WOULD NAME THESE KITTENS COLUMBUS AND LINCOLN.

I WOULD NAME THESE KITTENS COLUMBUS AND LINCOLN.

Also, HAPPY FOURTH!!
EEEEE PATRIOTIC CATS!!!

 

 

xoxox

M

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Secrets! No that’s actually the name of the song!

Hey beautiful babes,
My new single, SECRETS, is now being played on the radio!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! I’ve been pinching myself the last couple days. Totally surreal.

Secrets is a song about being unapologetically yourself! And it’s catchy! And I’m so so proud to have made something that has a message AND is fun. After thinking I could only write music to cry to, this is an amazing step in my journey to be the best songwriter I can be.

The song will be available for download on iTunes on August 5th. I know that is far away, but it’s okay! It’ll be so worth it! And maybe we can make it to the Top 40!!!

I really hope you like it. I made it for everyone to enjoy and hopefully relate. We’re all trying to figure it out, right? So let’s dance like idiots and snort when we laugh and tell people our secrets, because life is so much more fun when you realize no one actually knows what they’re doing.

Can’t wait for you to see the super fun video that goes along with it!

 

Evidence.

Evidence.

xoxo
M

 

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We are Killing Each Other and Ourselves

[Do note: there are no fun photos of cats or 90's TV shows in this blog post. It is not because I am not fun. I am a fucking hoot and a half and I can limbo lower than your 4 year old nephew. This is just some real shit that I wanted to explore without distractions and minimal self-promotion]

Two weeks ago, I was in the studio working on my new record. I’ve decided to put a poem about rape on this record. It is graphic and a trigger warning will be needed and it is beautiful and so completely necessary. We were talking about the Nigerian girls, the UCSB shooting, and the multitude of tragedies that seem to be happening more frequently. That day I asked my friend Benny his opinion on why people were shooting each other, raping each other, and operating in disturbingly apathetic ways. I really appreciated his answer.

Benny roughly said this: Our society, in general, operates in a dog-eat-dog mentality. If you lose your job, if you can’t afford medical insurance, if you are homeless, the resources to aid are terrifyingly limited. It is a systemic problem that is hungry for real legislative solutions.
This is part of the problem.

I started realizing that because some members of our culture do not feel safe or valued by their government institutions or communities, they are looking to other avenues to find an equivalent of security in other ways. Hopefully we have awesome families or communities that provide that sense of security, safety, and value. Hopefully we are all able to foster healthy, meaningful relationships with those around us. But what if some of us don’t? What if some of us never feel safe or feel like we belong or that we aren’t worthy of love and friendship?
I’ve been thinking really critically about what it means to be in my position (quasi-celebritydom as I often refer to it). When I read of tragedies, I try to ask myself: How can I help? Is there anything I can contribute to make this situation better?

I have a couple thoughts about these questions. The first is that we are lacking legislature in the world that prevents and adequately serves justice to violence, rape, and just plain, awful crimes. Additionally, we are living in a society that doesn’t like to talk about uncomfortable things.
But what I believe to be one of the sole contributors to the pandemic is pop culture and media saturation of a certain ideal (whether you feel valued in your life or not- but if you don’t, I imagine this gap widens massively and popular culture becomes a sole means of personal calibration). I believe that we are fed an ideal that is exclusive to a certain few, and they appear as such:
WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. THIS IS YOUR STANDARD OF BEAUTY AND ALL THINGS GOOD. WE ARE FUN AND YOUNG AND SKINNY AND WHITE. WE ALWAYS LOOK FLAWLESS. WE HAVE A DISPOSABLE INCOME. WE DO NOT HAVE PANTY LINES OR ACNE. WE KNOW HOW TO PARTY AND WE HAVE FRIENDS AND BOYFRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS THAT ARE ALSO ALL OF THESE THINGS. WE GUYS HAVE A LOT OF SEX. WE GIRLS DON’T SLEEP AROUND BUT EVERYONE ALWAYS WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH US. WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT SERIOUS THINGS BECAUSE WE ARE HAVING TOO MUCH FUN AND YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE AMIRITE.
Often, the celebrity that is shoved down our throats, also have: A REALLY COOL TALENT INVOLVING ENTERTAINMENT WHERE WE SING ABOUT DOING AND BEING THOSE THINGS. SOME OF US ACT IN FILM AND TV AND VERY OFTEN WE PORTRAY THE AFOREMENTIONED STANDARD OF BEAUTY AND GOOD. 

Which begs to ask, what about the rest of us? And there are a lot of us. Like, 99% of us. The funny thing is- the idea of being unattainable is just that- it doesn’t actually exist. The notion of celebrity flawlessness is a total lie.
I just finished shooting the music video for my upcoming single and asked a lot of people on set about post-editing. Basically, some of your favorite music videos and singers have varying amounts of post-editing- not to fix prop issues or anything technical- but to change actual BODIES. Make stomachs smaller, add abs (YOU CAN SERIOUSLY MAKE ABS), add more butt mass, shave a chin down, make whiter.
When this- the unattainable- is the standard (Again, IS COMPUTER GENERATED PERFECTION), it’s impossible to fit in. There is little or inaccurate representation of every day bodies in pop culture, it’s almost as if we don’t exist. There is another large component in all this: As we become more disconnected to each other (often because of technology or a desire to distract), a lack of empathy settles in. These two components:  living in a society where we are alienated or invisible or not good or beautiful (and constantly reminded of it) paired with a lack of empathy causes a massive human disconnect. I believe both of these things have come to an extreme in our culture.

What are the effects of this saturation? The effect of not fitting the standard of good and beauty, is crippling. The result is the desire to not feel; No one wants to fucking feel bad all the time.  I believe it causes people to implement a myriad of debilitating coping mechanisms, some of which:
1. We cease feeling. The sadness and alienation that is caused by the unattainable is the absolute worst, so we shut off our sensory. We distract. We play with our phones. We drink to forget. We watch The Bachelor (I can’t help it. That show is everything). Feeling nothing feels so much better than feeling bad, right?
2. We punish ourselves. We throw up. We physically harm. We overeat. We live recklessly. I believe to be the most dangerous of all of these is actually mental punishment. Listening to the mean people inside our heads that say we are not worthy because that standard of beauty and goodness is something we’ll never measure up to.
3. We punish each other. Because we don’t fit the standard, then Andrea wearing a crop top when she most def is not skinny enough to pull it off and just because they are called skinny jeans doesn’t make you skinny sweetheart, shouldn’t be allowed to either.

Lastly, We re-traumatize by reinforcing the media’s messages. We talk about and listen to and watch and read about the people we will never be, the bodies that are not ours, the lives we do not live.

I’m currently on the verge of an even larger platform than I could have ever imagined. The single I wrote two months ago has caught the attention of some of the most powerful people in the music industry. These people control the industry, thus your very consumption of media. They control your radio, your TV, and what you see in stores. That is a crazy amount of power and money. There is a belief that says the execs want to control our minds and force us to consume shallow things to make us stupid. Here’s the thing: They don’t want you to not feel. That’s not their intention. They don’t want you to punish each other. And they aren’t a part of a government conspiracy to make you mindless drones.
They want to make money. And in 1999, Brittany Spears sold 10 million copies of one song: “Baby One More Time”. One of my favorites. That formula worked. And it has continued to work. And although CD’s are becoming increasingly obsolete, there is still a lot of money to be made in the record industry, and that model is tried and true. They know you are going to consume the shit out of a pop singer’s Summer party song that tells you how fun and young and sexy it is to get wasted (seriously, I hope someone makes that song, because I want to listen to it right this second). The industry says, you are consuming.
They are merely filling a demand. You may also consume a cute, plus-size femme lesbian singing about gay rights, but it’s a total gamble. Because listeners are unpredictable and will like what they like, and this is a risk-averse business, why would you fix something that isn’t broken?

It’s not to say that there aren’t exceptions and I believe wholeheartedly there are a few heroes in popular culture that feel similarly about deconstructing this as well. There are a lot of songs coming out with empowering messages, campaigns about not touching-up photos, it’s okay to be yourself songs, television writers being more inclusive, gay rights anthems (sorry I couldn’t help myself), and a whole host of other folks in pop culture shifting the dialogue simply by existing. But what if:

What if the entertainers and the industry heads didn’t spend $40,000 on post-editing a music video to make a singer’s arms or stomach look smaller, didn’t touch up photos to remove wrinkles, didn’t post photos of themselves objectifying women, didn’t write vapid songs solely about their own vanity, but instead asked us to feel. Demanded us to think. To feel valued. What if their images were more…human? Accessible? Is it possible to create pop music that is present in feeling and thoughtfulness and vulnerability without sacrificing fun elements and is catchy?
Or maybe it is the honest-to-god truth:
Do we really enjoy idolatry? Do we prefer the idea of the unattainable? Did we just feel shitty before, and the idolatry and shallow content is a symptom of distraction?

I don’t know. I like to think that we are just a little lost. I think humanity is moving and brilliant and kind and the standard of unattainable beauty and goodness is destroying us from within. There are so many lovely things to see, kind things to say, bodies to hold with our eyes, words to make us think, songs to excite us, and art to hungrily eat. Let’s create and consume them together.

 

It had to happen.

Your regularly scheduled cat enthusiast blog will resume.

 

xoxox

M

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I’M PLAYING AT THE WHITE HOUSE AND THAT IS REALLY CRAZY

It seems like every post these days is in all caps. But that’s because all the things that are happening are hella worthy of caps, my patriotic kittens. EVERYTHING IS THE COOLEST ALL THE TIME.
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I am performing at the white house for her goddess, Michelle Obama and his infinite coolness, Barack, this week for a private ceremony for the Harvey Milk stamp issuance. Good news, I already know what dress I’m wearing. It’s hella patriotic.

 

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Most people are unfortunately unable to be at that performance (unless you have a zillion dollars or are in the FBI or are Harry Styles or are an Animorph or something), BUT if you are in the D.C. area, I am performing a few songs for the Harvey Milk Foundation fundraiser event the night before.
THIS Wednesday, May 21st at Cobalt.

For those of you who don’t know, Harvey Milk was an inspiring leader for LGBT rights. He was one of the world’s first openly gay elected officials and was subsequently assassinated because of his sexual orientation. His story is beyond moving.
You can check out and support the foundation here.

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The Reason Behind the Body Love Music Video

 

This blog post could also be appropriately titled:
I Just Ate A Chicken Patty By Itself While I Was Crying at YouTube Comments and It May Have Been A Little Bit Frozen: Tales from Lonely Los Angeles

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I was devastated the day I found out Truffula trees weren’t real. Life is hard.

I’m in L.A. again! I’m here working on my record with the best humans in the music industry. Best, meaning music-wise, and also people-y-wise.
I’ve had the pleasure to spend time with Eric Rosse, Benny Cassette, and Mozella while we’re working on my upcoming album. I love them. I love them and writing music with them has never been more fun or important.
I was so scared to co-write; for a long time I believed the only way I could write music was if I was on a manic binge without sleep, chain-smoking in the kitchen and crying into children’s books at 3am. Jokes on me! And on Dr. Seuss! You can be healthy and write music!
Good news, tortured artists of the world!

This album is making me think a lot about my motivations and what I want to put out into the world.
When I started the record I was like, cool, Mary. We have goals for this album! For my goals, I enter third person for absolutely no reason at all:

First things first- Buy all the stickers from all the craft stores so you can make cool christmas cards and send love letters with buttons on them that say, “you’re as cute as a button”. I recognize this is irrelevant. But it’s kind of relevant because you need to:

Once when I was 7, I told a fifth grader, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself, bone daddy.” You guys, I don’t even know where I came from.

1. Make money! Buy your mom a house! Start a charity! Tip brunch waitresses hundred dollar bills!
2. Stay true to yourself, boo-boo. That means don’t slack on your lyrics. Then you’re just being lazy.
3. Make sure you’re laughing! Music is fun!
4. Make something you want to hear on the radio so you can hear a DJ say, “Damn, that Mary Lambert, she’s even cooler than in third grade when she beat the older kids at tetherball.
5. Be 100% aware of your output on the world. Quasi-stardom is a tricky friend. It can make you think that your actions only matter when you want them to, that your lyrics don’t have gravity, or that your platform is a throwaway.

All actions, but especially actions made within the media and pop culture, have an inherent responsibility, no matter how seemingly miniscule.
The idea is that we are all in charge of our own output and our energy into the world.

High school was just like the OC. Except for the part where they were in high school and also the fact they were all adult actors

I just finished writing a song called ‘Chasing the Moon’ (as a poet, it is an unwritten rule to have at least one piece pay tribute to the moon) (I think) (I just made that up, but it sounds like a really cool life lesson to give new poets now), and the song is surrounding high school nostalgia. In my last year of high school, I was drinking and partying and had become an all around obnoxious delinquent. If I’m writing a song about my experience in high school, do I leave out the parts of the story that might offend other people? Am I unintentionally glorifying high school partying? Do I leave it out because I don’t want to condone underage drinking? But isn’t censorship, itself, offensive? Haven’t I fought tooth and nail to unflinchingly tell my story?

I came to terms with the new song we recorded. I have to believe that intention is as important as I think it is. I am attempting to catch a glimpse in time of my own life with this song. This song is my experience and I am relaying my story through art. It’s not a party song. It’s not a song about not drinking, either. It’s just a story.

Hella thanks to the Art Center College of Design for lending us hands, equipment, time, and love to make it happen!
Hella thanks to the Art Center College of Design for lending us hands, equipment, time, and love to make it happen!

The Body Love music video is also a story; it has multiple threads. I have so, so many thoughts on this piece of work and the reception it’s garnered the last week. I wrote Body Love when I was 19. At the time, I was self harming, felt worthless, and I was struggling to find any beauty in my reflection. All I could see was FAT GROSS UNLOVABLE written all over me. After I wrote the poem, I saw a ton of ways the video could go. To be completely honest, this is not the video I originally intended to make, and towards the end, I gave up my need for control and let go of trying to make it exactly what I wanted it to be, and let the amazing director and the crew do what they do best: Make this music video, with a vision and a specific artistic hand. Here, I’ve collected some of the thoughts I have had about the filming and some criticism I received as well.

1. The writing of this poem is my story. I can only write from my experience. I am a white, plus-size bi-polar lesbian that struggles with body issues and used to self harm. I don’t know what it’s like to be tall, or thin, to be a man, a person of color, or to be trans*. I do my best with acknowledging my privilege and the point of view I have. It’s the only one I’ve got.

2. I love this poem and it’s message. It’s one of my proudest moments as an artist. However, I don’t actually think this is my finest poetry. The subject changes too much, it’s metaphors are callous, and it doesn’t look great on the page, though it is a poem meant to be spoken. In the same way, I don’t think that ‘She Keeps Me Warm’ is my best song. I do know that Body Love is an important poem and SKMW is an important song and I get a ton of valuable feedback about their impact. Both LGBT* rights and self-worth are issues I care deeply about and affect me on a daily level. I can’t believe I get to sing every night about things that mean so much to me. But anyone who is a writer can understand the (hopeful) growth in craft and all the critiques that you give yourself retrospectively (“wish I would have said, can’t believe I rhymed ___ with ___, etc.).

In this metaphor, I'M THIS BABY. LOOK HOW CUTE THIS BABY IS. Is it creepy that I'm just grabbing photos of people's children from the internet?

In this metaphor, I’M THIS BABY. LOOK HOW CUTE THIS BABY IS. Also, on a creepy scale, how creepy is it that I’m just grabbing photos of people’s children from the internet and putting it on my queer ass blog?

3. I think it’s important to constantly challenge the marginalization of minorities. Whether it’s deliberate or not. It’s important to question privilege, motives, intention in the media, in pop culture, and in our daily lives. Dissection of art and pop culture is valued, but equally, so should celebration. It is an exciting time to be alive and to be an activist- the little victories deserve to be reveled in! When a baby is first walking, you don’t yell at her when she attempts and then falls; you cheer on her fearlessness, and encourage her to move forward with insight and advice. I welcome criticism to be a better artist and a better human. I’m hungry to grow! To spread positive light! To hug everyone all the time!

4. I use the metaphor of a mosque in the poem. The line is, “I know girls who are fleeing bombs from the mosques of their skin”. The intention of the metaphor is to paint our skin, our bodies as holy as a mosque, as a temple of worship. In 2006 and 2007, when I wrote this poem, there were a slew of mosques that had been bombed in the Middle East. I was emotionally shaken by these holy places completely demolished. At the same time thousands of miles away, friends of mine were shooting heroin, forcing themselves to throw up in the bathroom, and exhibiting severe destructive behavior. I use the parallel of war language in the poem throughout: “Our bodies deserve more than to be collateral”. In this specific metaphor, the bombs represent media pressures to be a certain kind of woman. As I see my poem now, I recognize that I am a woman that does not know the visceral impact that a bombing has. There might have been a better way to say what I intended, perhaps using the metaphor of a church, since my experience is that of a Christian. My sincerest apologies to anyone that was offended by this metaphor. I will try to be more conscious of my use of language and events in the future.

5. Jon Jon Augustavo directed this music video. He did an incredible job shooting intimate portraits of vulnerable human beings. This is a stunning piece and I’m so proud to call him a friend.

6. There were a ton of people involved in making this video happen. Their time, energy, and passion was so generous. The energy around the making of the video was electric. It was sacred and safe and involved a lot of crying for both the subjects and the crew.

7. We had an open casting call to any of my fans that wanted to take part in this project. The people who submitted photos and stories were a direct correlation to who we cast. This video is truly only successful because of the vulnerability of every single human that bared their soul and body. It was inspiring watching them from behind the camera. They were all so brave.

8. I wanted to include men (cis and trans), because everyone has body issues. Self harm and body image struggles are not exclusive to gender. Men also submitted to the casting call, which I was really impressed with, and it felt important to reflect that in the piece.

12. After we filmed, I became increasingly anxious. I realized afterward that we neglected to cast some demographics, and casted multiples of other demographics. Not on purpose, of course. We just had a certain amount of submissions of people who had incredible stories and backgrounds and chose to focus on them. In the video, there are no subjects with a physical disability, no trans women, no women over 50, no middle-aged men, no one who identifies as gender queer, and plenty of other demographics the video lacks. The omission of any demographic was not intentional. As a child who was always left out, I am obsessed with inclusivity. The lack of certain demographics weighed heavily on my mind post shoot, and I’ve had anxiety about the lack of certain bodies since then. I had to come to a place of peace. I didn’t want the casting call to be me yelling “we need one asian! we need an anorexic!” I see casting calls and I know that’s how hollywood does it, but I wanted this video to be different. To be inclusive organically. I wanted to hear people’s stories, not base casting solely on their demographic.

13. All of that being said, I really wish we would have searched harder to cast a trans woman in the video. That is my biggest regret of this experience. Especially with the poem being directed towards all women, written by me, a cis woman, it would have been such an incredible statement to have a trans woman play an active role. As someone that dated a two-spirit soul, gender identity is something I think about a lot.

You are great teachers, babes, but Mrs. Krabappel stole my heart a long time ago.

You are great teachers, babes, but Mrs. Krabappel stole my heart a long time ago.

I don’t intend this information to be likened to the sentiment of “I can’t be racist! I have a black friend!”– what I mean to convey here, is that trans* issues are really important to me and being in a relationship with someone that was constantly discriminated against for their gender identity affected me and changed my 19 year old doe-eyed view of the world. My heart hurts for any trans women that felt deliberately excluded. It was so far from my intention. I had a good cry about it today, and the only thing I could think to do is to offer an apology to the trans* community. I still have a lot to learn, and I am grateful for all of the teachers in my life, including my beautiful audience. I want to honor all of you. With my art, my media, my stories, and my existence- both publicly and privately.

I can’t wait to make another music video! I really can’t. There are so many things I want to accomplish and I’m learning the most effective, kindest way to do them all. I appreciate all of your love and positive light and kind criticism and even the militant criticism of the video. I am also going to try super hard to not read YouTube comments anymore. Cyber bullying is alive and well, y’all. I have so much to learn, and am really excited to have complete world domination. Did that sneak in there? Oh. Yes. Did I mention my world domination is rampant with kittens and little girls in sailor hats singing christmas carols and gluten-free baguettes? But also, inclusivity and safe spaces and locally grown food and free higher education and funding for the arts and a lot of glitter?

My posse is coming for you. And they are cute as fuck.

My posse is coming for you. And they are cute as fuck.

Welcome to the age of  SPACE KITTENS Y’ALL.

 xoxoxox

forever and ever,

M

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Countdown to the Body Love music video and the launch of the Body Love Campaign!! Boom.

Dear citizens of the universe (and beyond) (like bed bath and beyond) (but actually not at all like bed bath and beyond),

I’m releasing the Body Love music video in one week.

I decided to launch The Body Love campaign in conjunction with the anticipation of the video starting today. Every day on my Instagram, I will focus on a part of my body that I embrace, and offer you to do the same- posting a picture with it, hashtags, and a description that will automatically post to the Body Love Campaign website. Your empowerment and strength can be a tool for others. I believe we can build each other up.  I think self love is one of the most important and potentially culture-shifting movements that is happening and can be propelled. I was inspired by Denise Jolly’s “Be Beautiful” project, and Sonya Renee’s  “The Body is Not an Apology” movement.

How beautiful is that phrase? The body is not an apology. It almost makes me cry. Being a lesbian, a plus size woman, and an incest and rape survivor born in poverty, I have spent much of my life in guilt. All of these identities that are a part of me have effected my body in one way or another, most for the worse– especially in my teens. I binge ate, cut myself, slept with whoever validated me, and drank to oblivion. I made a vow at 21, when I wrote the final edit of the poem, “Body Love”  that my self-destructive behavior would end with the birth of this writing. This is a live video of the poem, and probably the most vulnerable I’ve felt performing.

I also want to take a brief minute to say that I write these things from the point of view of a plus-size woman, which is my experience. I can’t tell you what it’s like to be too tall to find clothes at department stores, or too petite to fit into regular women’s clothing, or be criticized for not being a buff enough man. But I do know what it’s like to feel simultaneously invisible and also the subject of brutally mean comments. All body dysmorphia is valid; Everyone is going through something. I try to remember that as much as I can. The girl at Starbucks who doesn’t look up to even make eye contact or bother to say ‘hello’ back to me is going through something. Regardless of my indignation, I am not entitled to any kind of response. I am in charge of my own energy output into the world. I realize now we are all simultaneously victims and villains with our judgments.

Sometimes I wake up and I’m like,

“Hell yeah. what a great bod. I’m gonna dance all naked in front of the mirror for way too long.” and then sometimes I look at myself and I only see what the mean girls in middle school told me. In my head I hear:

“You’re too fat to be loved.”

Despite the guise of curvy confidence, with an EP titled ‘Welcome to the Age of My Body’ to shout it from the rooftops and borderline preachy posts on social media, I think about it daily. A couple months ago, my girlfriend kissed my stomach for the simple reason that she truly loved it, loved every part of me, and I found myself sobbing uncontrollably. For completely baring my soul on stages around the country, I was terrifyingly shaken by this sheer act of pure love. How could someone possibly love this stomach? These stretch marks? Our stomachs are made to tuck, to hide, to put spanx on, to smooth out, right?

The thought occurred to me:

I am not an isolated incident. This is not the first time a human has had any of these thoughts. In fact, this is a universal fear, regardless of size.

“I am too ______ to be loved.”

To this, I say:

You are not, nor have you ever, been alone.

Your body is worthy.

Of love, of dignity, of sexiness, of glory.

We are all stumbling to find ourselves.

We are all aching to love each other in the mess.

You are capable of exercising self-love.

You have all the knowledge and power to heal your own wounds, and no one can do that for you.

Starting today and through the week, I will focus on a body part every day, and tell you why I like it and why it’s hella real. I want you to share why YOU like YOUR hair, booty, face, etc. on social media with me. Let’s make this big.

Today on Tuesday the 15th, I begin my #BodyLove campaign with LoveMyHair. I love my reddish/brownish hair that sometimes I dye and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I don’t have time to wash it and it gets hella dirty and gross and the hair stylist looks at me like I’m trying to get white girl dreads. I put it in a bun on my head! I wear a headband and look like a soccer mom! I side-pony it! I let it curl naturally! I put bandanas in it, who cares? I love it. #LoveMyHair. #BodyLove

LoveMyHair[3]

Love you babes.

xoxoxo

M

Share with me why you love YOUR hair today (tomorrow is a new Body Love) and please feel free to rhyme.  Upload an image of yourself to Instagram (and boos, include both hashtags and @marylambertsing so I can see it!) #BodyLove #LoveMyHair

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